Final post of 2008

We had a very interesting discussion last week about the subject of a forthcoming essay title. Now, personally, I love a good essay. 1500 words? A mere bagatelle. But then I say this as a writer anyway. Slightly different for those who are not used to writing essays and are coming to it fresh, and in some cases, with English as a second language.

The question to be answered was: What are the differences between counselling as a friend and counselling as a 'counsellor'. It seems fairly straightforward. For example, if you have a friend who asks for your advice concerning an aggressive partner, your response might well be; Get a restraining order and LEAVE. As a 'counsellor' I think my approach would be rather more restrained and devoid (as far as possible) of emotion. I think I would ask questions in order to help the 'client' understand why she might stay with an aggressive partner. Is she repeating a pattern of behaviour from earlier relationships or even from childhood? I think what I mean is that good counselling is not necessarily advice as such, but asking pertinent questions and LISTENING.

So, job done! All I have to do is expand that to 1500 words.

No stress then.

Writing exercise

2. Counselling may be used to cope with the challenges of ‘change’.

I shall examine how ‘change’ and the challenges that it presents may be measured against the model defined by Maslow. I shall use as my subject the character of Rose from my screenplay ‘Leave To Remain’. Though she is fictional, I believe that by approaching her dilemmas in a ‘counselling’ way, more specifically in a psychodynamic way, I can understand her character motivations better.

Abraham Maslow identified a hierarchy of needs. Starting with physiological needs then ascending with safety needs, social needs, self-esteem and at the top, self-actualisation or realisation of potential. In the same way that a character’s narrative arc could be measured.

In a script it is vital to understand a character’s motivations, a concept integral to the psychodynamic model of counselling which is concerned with unconscious or external factors in human development and early childhood experiences. The script shows in flashback Rose’s early childhood. Her parents are killed by a fundamentalist Christian sect, God’s Acre, when she is four years old and she is placed into a God’s Acre orphanage. She is encouraged to befriend other children with a view to betraying their anti-religious tendencies.

Fast forward to the young adult Rose. She is still an agent for God’s Acre in the dystopian England of 2015. Rose’s life is at the most basic level of physiological need. She has a place to live (the burnt-out basement of a once-radical bookshop), which she shares with her secret lover, a Resistance fighter. It’s a hand-to-mouth existence. God’s Acre think of her as expendable. Rose unconsciously plays one side off against the other in order to survive and maintain her precarious physiological situation. She resists change. Rose’s machinations fail, her lover is captured and she abandons their child, not an unexpected outcome for Rose as her parents’ death effectively abandoned her.

The new trauma unlocks memories of the past. Rose decides she must find and free her lover, reclaim her child and in so doing begins slowly to move up the hierarchy of need as she changes. Forced into action by having even the physiological needs taken away, change is inevitable as she literally runs out of options. The unfolding of the narrative is itself a metaphor for psychodynamic counselling as Rose examines her past life in the light of her desperate circumstances.

As Maslow’s model might be critiqued for its simplicity and idealism, this too might be seen as a mirror to how a story is created, in that life is not perfect but that art can be and so in the course of the story, Rose ascends through the hierarchy and ultimately realises her own potential by joining sides openly with the Resistance in the North and assuming some authority because of her immersion in God’s Acre and her knowledge of the vulnerabilities of the organisation. Rose copes with the challenges of ‘change’ by connecting her own early experiences with the choices she herself makes and consciously acts to bring about a different outcome.

Week 5: 7th November 2008

An interesting case study that Anne read to us about STAN, whose relationship with his children had deteriorated due to his constant criticism of them, the therapist and indeed the whole world. Using his therapist as a screen, Stan explored his own childhood where he had been unduly criticised by his own parents. He then transferred this destructive behaviour to his own children. The class identified a psychodynamic model of counselling as appropriate for Stan because it would touch upon issues of transference, treatment, relationships, childhood and interpretation.

We then tried to define 'sympathy' and 'empathy'. Though the two seem similar, it was surprisingly hard to distinguish intellectually between the two:

Sympathy .... "a set of circumstances in which one shares in the feelings of another". Penguin dictionary of psychology, 1986 (I'm sure there is now an updated version of this).


"Empathy is often confused with sympathy, compassion, and emotional resonance. Although these are all important aspects of intimate relationships, empathy is somewhat different. Empathy is a hypothesis or educated guess concerning your client's internal state. It is a method of observation that relies on your interpersonal sensitivities and skills, combined with your capacity to think about what you are feeling. You dip into another's experience as best you can using your emotions and imagination, then subject your experiences to conscious consideration in light of your knowledge and training". The Making of a Therapist. Louis Cozolino, Norton 2004

Discussion of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Technique) followed, which seeks change in the client but does not use a psychodynamic approach (which focuses on relationships) but instead deals with the feelings aroused in the client by events or thoughts that the client has.

EG: You walk down the street and you see your neighbour. She ignores you. What could your reaction be? Anger to indifference encompasses a range of instant automatic feelings. In turn, those feelings are governed by your experiences and upbringing. So, if you felt anger, a response might be 'she's so rude!' or the incident might upset you because it puzzles you. What have you done to upset her? If such incidents create undue anxiety then the scientific CBT approach would be to apply Socratic questioning to the incident:

- What is the evidence that your neighbour ignored you?
- What is the evidence that your neighbour likes you/doesn't like you?
- How much do you believe that?
- What's the worst that can happen if she doesn't like you?

Thus the client can recontextualise their experience.

Anne thinks that CBT is useful in treating panic attacks, phobias and depression. It's a buzz word in the NHS becasue it's a bit of a sticking plaster for particular conditions but doubtless useful.

We were encouraged to consider which model of counselling appealed to us. So far I would say person-centred. Simply because it closely echoes my own method of helping which seems to have evolved from giving out advice (often unasked for!) to asking questions which help whoever it is to explore their true feelings on the subject.

We moved onto transactional analysis. This was fascinating because it resembles the relationship frameworks of much written drama. Again quite scientific in its approach, Eric Bern identified the parent, child and adult ego states.

Parent ego state is either nurturing or authoritarian
Child ego state is unadapted (spontaneous) or adapted (cross or sulky)
Adult ego state is negotiating and adapting.

If, in a relationship both are are in the same state then the relationship is complementary.
if both are in different states then the transcactions are crossed and conflict ensues.

Thinking about it, this seems to be tha basis for parenting, in that both parents may assume different parent ego states. One is nurturing, one is authoritarian. Good cop, bad cop, I guess.

Anne asked us to consider whether 'scripts' played a part in our lives. That is to say if parental expectations of us eg:'you're hopeless and will amount to nothing' was something we confounded by working too hard or totally fulfilled and did nothing with our lives.

Finally, we discussed the dramatic triangle. Three points of a triangle marked VICTIM, PERSECUTOR, RESCUER. this was a great way of examining situations of high emotional content and how individuals might swap from one point of the triangle to another.

The Pied Piper Of Hamelin is a good archetypal story that demonstrates this model whilst in recent history, the Cleveland Child Abuse scandal could be interpreted in this way.

That's the way to do it!

As part of the course we all have to do a five minute presentation demonstrating how the course has affected our lives on a day to day basis, as it were.

As a writer, I am tempted to make a short piece utilising a Punch And Judy Scenario. Punch and Dr Freud perhaps, in which Judy, exasperated with Punch's unreconstructed macho behaviour beats him to a pulp with his own stick and feeds him to the crocodile (sausage first of course). I shall then invite my fellow students to analyse my unconscious motivations in writing the piece.

WEEK 4: 24TH OCTOBER 2008

Hierarchy Of Need:

5. SELF-ACTUALISATION
4. SELF-ESTEEM
3. SOCIAL NEEDS
2. SAFETY NEEDS
1. PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS


This week we explored different historical influences on counselling theory starting with Freud.
He developed two main areas of study: Understanding the human mind and treating the human mind. We discussed Freudian models of child development (oral, anal and genital stages) also how the mind is divided into the conscious, subconscious and unconcious. We looked at the id, the ego and the super-ego. The development of the adult state and conscience. The states of mind that affect our every decision. They seem to act in balance with each other (ideally).

Freudian analysis led to other approaches such as the psychodynamic approach and also the person-centred approach as embodied by Carl Rogers. This in turn led to Cognitive Behaviour therapy which is allied to Gestalt therapy(patterns within relationships). We touched upon Maslow's 'Hierarchy Of Need' (See above). This seemed a neat and simple approach, refreshingly free of jargon and user-friendly.

Most interesting to me was Carl Roger's approach. he believed that human beings had a natural instinct to change for the better and be healthy. This may be enabled when the helper set up the right conditions for the client to be helped. So, the client must feel vulnerable and in need of change to alleviate anxiety. The helper must be congruent, warm, empathic and non-judgmental and above all GENUINELY SO. That is, they must not evince these characteristics as 'tools' for the purpose of counselling, they must be these things in real life. This approach appeals me to me very much, being humanistic in ethos.

We then discussed in pairs the different ways in which we might make psychological contact. We identified warmth, good body language, good eye contact etc. Our homework was to read a poem by Carol Ann Duffy and consider how we might make psychological contact with the subject. I think it would be impossible. The subject of this poem would despise the very notion of being counselled.

WEEK 3: 17TH OCTOBER 2008

" The therapist is ultimately not there to treat the patient but, via a circuitous and well-concealed route, to treat or protect or comfort himself. "

Thomas Maeder.

I was late but slotted into the morning's first activity which was to look at the learning commitment questionnaire and discuss in pairs our similarities and differences. V (for whom English is a second language) was concerned about mistakes in essay writing whilst I was concerned at painful revelations in class causing me to cry. Several people had similar anxieties but actually just expressing it lessened it. Some were anxious that classes would turn into group counselling sessions. Hopefully not.

We were then given four professions and asked to identify helping aspects of that profession which we then presented to the group and they had to guess what the profession was out of Teacher, Doctor, Parent, Friend. we then swapped around and drew up a list of those attributes that could be called counselling skills. Debate ensued about whether Counsellors gave advice (they don't) should have a good sense of humour and be a role of model (debatable!) Though I felt that a good counsellor would have all appointments filled and therefore have a kind of standing because of that.

We then got on to the history of counselling pre- and post- Industrial revolution. Before, people who were mentally ill were taken care of in their own communities but the great migration to the cities meant a fracturing of these old traditions and those unable to work were confined in workhouses. The mentally ill were disruptive and so began the Asylums where such individuals (mostly women) were confined and treated (by men mainly). Very interesting.

WEEK 2: 10th October 2008

" He (Carlos) had never had a male friend. 'Who needs them?' he once said to me. 'I've never met anyone who wouldn't cut you dead for a dollar, a job or a cunt'."*


An interesting and enlivening session in which we discussed a code of conduct for the group which centred around respect for others, listening, honesty,the freedom to be mistaken,not to attack others personally but to keep it within the context of feelings, i.e: 'what you said made me feel angry' not 'you make me angry'.

Anne to type up the rules and distribute to the group via e-mail..

Following on from the learning styles questionnaire, we divided into three groups: Practical, Visual and Auditory (depending on which learning style you scored highly on). As a good all-rounder I was encouraged to join a smaller group (the Practical one). We then discussed what learning in a practical manner might entail. Challenging or questioning theories seemed to predominate. The boundaries blurred between all the styles as one would expect. I'm glad I'm a good all-rounder.

We then did a kind of pictogram about who we were and how we saw the world. I confined my pictogram within the context of counselling and what I hoped to achieve from the course. I then shared this with two other members of the group. We all had very different approaches. The other two were much more wide-ranging in their approaches. I think I could do with that. Get some air in the experience. But then there is no right and wrong about this.

Outside of the group, I am reading Love's Executioner by Irwin Yalom*. He strikes me as a very egotistical psychotherapist!

Week One: 3rd October 2008

"In as far as our expectations are ideal they are unattainable; in as far as they are reasonable, they have a chance of being met."

Isca Salzberger-Wittenberg.

Really great to see a full house for the first week of the course. I feel it bodes well! People were already talkng to each other before the session started. A (the tutor) seems very friendly (as one would expect).We did the usual Birkbeck thing of finding out about our neighbour and introducing them to the group. Mine was K who already has a degree in psychology (I felt jealous of that). I remembered pretty much everything she told me. Interestingly, the only thing I omitted was the fact that she had been in counselling herself for two years. I wonder why? Whilst I was telling her about my life, I mentioned that I'd had marital problems and I said 'one of us had to go'. K took that to mean that I had left my husband when what I actually meant was that 'one of us had to go into counselling'. We laughed at the Freudian implications. Mostly women on the course, just two men. A wide range of backgrounds and experience. I'm looking forward to hearing different cultural experiences. We all seem to be hoping for insight and unexpected directions. Someone voiced the fear of painful revelation. Either way it promises to be cathartic.

Another displacement activity...

Yes, I'm at it again. Another blog, this time about the Introduction to Counselling course I'm doing at Birkbeck College. It will take the form of my weekly learning journal. Hopefully it will be more entertaining than it sounds.