Presentation part two: 13th March 2009

I changed my mind about the presentation, deciding to focus upon something in the past and how my understanding of that has clarified since doing the course.

the daughter of a friend and I were in the habit of having lunch together. Her family were elsewhere in the world. When her life became more difficult and her marriage became troubled. she leaned and leaned on me until, in the end I had to back away, unable to help her any more, so great were her emotional needs. I felt I had let her down badly but I simply could not cope. I've brooded about this over the years and come to no satisfactory conclusion about what I could have done that was right or appropriate. My link into the course was my fear that a client might demand more from me than I was willing to give (or able to give). Comments from the class were reassuring, supportive and helpful. It was felt that the framework of the counsellor/client relationship would contain the neediness of the client and the ability to help of the counsellor. I guess what we're talking about here s a tacit acknowledgement of pre-determined boundaries that both contains and enables the helping relationship.

We then moved on to dyad discussion about multiculturalism and listening. I partnered with K who spoke about her gap year travel in the seventies and how she realised that having a white skin was enough to get you into the pool of a big posh hotel abroad even if you looked ragged.

I related our holiday in Spain where I was anticipating Almodovar all the way but actually (and depressingly) got a load of insecure Brits ranting on about how England was going to the dogs and how everything was run by 'Muslims and queers'. Sigh. I couldn't wait to get back to good old multicultural London where people are more tolerant.

Much discussion ensued about assumptions and stereotypes. We all do it I suppose, but so much better to look behind the assumption and perceive the individual and their place in the world. Also how it's possible to have a foot in both worlds if you speak another language than English at home for example. I think it's possible to extrapolate from one experience of 'cultural' identity and apply it to another.

Tomorrow there is a seminar on the next course we might take. I shall report back.

Essay: 13th February 2009

The essay looms! It's half-term, the boy is upstairs, my friends have called, the House is reasonable and now I have run out of displacement activities. I don't know why I do this: I love writing, especially essays. The title is a doozy:

How does a counsellor differ from a friend?

Lots of people on the course are doing this one. I think because friends have told us we'd make good counsellors. Now all we have to do is to decide why that is. Musing upon it, I think it comes down to frameworks and context. If this question were a Venn diagram, the two categories would definitely overlap but some aspects of the respective states would remain distinct and discrete.

Well, no good procrastinating about it, I'll have to write it now and will post it on here when it's all done and dusted.

L gave a very interesting presentation today about her daughter who was born at 25 weeks gestation. L was pondering how this experience had affected her daughter psychologically and if it had any ramifications for her in later life if she should seek counselling. A thought it depended very much on the type of counselling sought. So a psychodynamic counsellor would give different weight to the fact of prematurity compared to a transactional analyst. This found favour with the group as a whole.

We then moved on to definitions of mental health. It became clear that cultural heritage can play a part in this. For example people with an Afro-Caribbean heritage were more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. People of Asian heritage were less likely to present to their GPs for diagnosis. Interesting and sobering when considered within the context of colonial history.

L and I took turns to listen and respond in a counselling fashion about the essay question. This proved to be harder to maintain in terms of time boundaries (5 minutes listening). As T pointed out, we are all becoming friends, so that framework of counselling became looser and more about discourse than the practice of counselling skills per se.